A riddle

What has four wheels and flies?


A garbage truck.

Get it- flies like the bugs?

Happy new year! =)

A simple joke

A young child told me this joke.

Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?

He wanted to see a butterfly.

=)

A Simple Funny to me

This is a trick my mom used to do that is funny to me. I think it could be a trick that many moms know, especially since sometimes they need to be a bit sneaky to get their children to do what is good for them.
She would look at my brothers and I like she had the best idea in the world. She'd start the conversation by saying, "I have an idea," or "I know what we should do!"
Sometimes they were really good or involved her making something really delicious so my brothers and I would get excited as well and hope (sometimes guarded hope- not skepticism-please comment if you think you know the right word or with anything really) would radiate from our hearts and faces.
We would say something like "What?" or "Hmmmm...?"
Then mom would say, "We can clean your room!" or , "Let's go to the grocery store!" or something that did not match the excitement of what she looked like she was about to share.
There were other times though when her delivery would match the idea like when we had super food she made or when we would go on an awesome trip across country. She kept us guessing. =)
I think I got that trait, and it is neat to see other people's faces light up with excitement and give me slightly humorous smiles when their expectations are not met. Oh! I have an idea! Let's all get more diligent and make the world a better place and inspire people to smile and laugh in a good way and defy mainstream media's disheartening expectations. =)

Tobasco

When I was three years old my parents were at a restaurant, and I whined and motioned that I wanted the Tabasco sauce. They tried to reason with me that it would not be to my liking, but apparently I did not stop so they let me have it. I downed a bit of it, and then really started crying. Yes, sometimes I learned the hard way... = ? )
PS I do not use Tabasco sauce to this day.

The Purple Cup

I was watching a three year child a while ago. He was great. Then he took a nap and awoke like a different child. He awoke crying from a bad dream I believe. After that he wailed he wanted his mommy. When I distracted by asking him if he wanted some water, he looked totally calm and said,"Yeah."
I said," Alright," and went to get a cup. He saw me get a blue cup and started a wailing,"I want the purple cup! I want the purple cup."
I looked everywhere for a purple cup and did not find a one. I even looked in the dishwasher trying to find one. I tried to color paper purple and put it around the cup to which he cried,"No, my mom will kill me."
I knew he needed water so I figured I'd give him a cup I saw. When I filled the cup with cold water, it turned purple! =)

Funny Child Comment

I was talking to a nine or so year old the other day and he said," It is hard to be like Jesus. Sometimes I just want to hit people." Boy, I can empathize...
Don't worry though. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," including not hitting you. But, seriously, if anyone mistreats a poor and needy person, God may use me to make justice happen and defend them. That's what people who believe in Jesus do and are supposed to do.
⁸Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. ⁹Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy. -Proverbs 31: 8-9
OK; this is half funny and half serious. I hope you laughed. =)

Funny Strong Redneck

This video is great! http://www.cbn.com/media/index.aspx?s=/vod/SUE107_SteveMcGranahan
Enjoy please! =)

Animals Lower Blood Pressure

Hey!I was taking care of my friend's dog the other day, and it was so easy to chuckle and smile of some of her dog's antics- the way he marks so much territory, barks at random things, wags his tail like going outside is the most exciting thing in the world, loves to smell lots of stuff, etc. According to a news report, animals are supposed to lower people's blood pressure; I believe it.
=) Have a good one!

Art says the Funniest Thing

I was watching Art Linklater ( He is from that show "Kids Say the Darndest Things.") - the other day on CBN. He has been married for seventy plus years and is ninety - four years old.
He spoke of paddling the canoe with his bride to be under the moonlight. He got a bit nervous and said, "We ought to get married or something." She said, "We'll get married or nothing!"
I thought that was the funniest thing, and a good way for women to handle themselves with men in general. We need to guard our hearts and not sit idly if a guy tries to take advantage of us or treats us badly. Husbands are supposed to be forever! We women ought to be very careful and only consider marrying the good ones. Maybe if women did this, the men who act badly will act righteously. The reverse would likely happen as well.
Well, have a good day.

A College Riddle

This riddle was told on the first day of my economic class at St. Edward's University:

What is more powerful than God, rich people want it, and poor people have it?


Answer: Nothing! =)

Take Some Risks

So I drive the school bus and remind one of the chipper, kind middle school girls to sit as if she is wearing a seat belt. "Miss, you need to take some risks," she lets me know with all of her twelve years of knowledge.
I assure her I do take risks. I've traveled the west coast, stood my ground against people who some would consider scary, currently drive a school bus that can hold seventy-six children. I take risks!
"Yes," she says, "and you probably wear your seat belt."
Well, she has me there. I do wear my seat belt in moving vehicles, and when I drive the school bus, I even try to obey the law that says school buses are not to run yellow lights- much to the chagrin of the students who would like to get home quickly and or see me get a ticket.
Well the conversation kept going and the kindhearted, risk taking girl tells me that her mom can drive, talk on the cell phone, and put make up on all at the same time. I told the girl she ought to ask if her mom wants me to do that. Her mom later assured me she only puts on lipstick and surely does not want me to do all that at the same time. =) The end.

That's what my mom said!

Tonight I had a great night of prayer at a church in town. Toward the end of the gathering a girl asked for prayer and got some questions answered.
One of her questions was what to do about a friend who spoke badly about her. The other ladies counseling her said not to worry about what other people think.
I told her a story about a girl on the bus who had gotten easily upset. I told the girl on the bus to be calm, and then the people who were pressing her buttons would quit because they would see that she would not react. This girl on the bus asked what she should do if people were talking badly about her. I told her to prove them wrong by her actions, and then the other people would look badly for talking wrongly about her.
The girl at church told me excitedly, "That's what my mom said!" That made us all chuckle and made me feel good because I'm not a mom but still gave good advice. Apparently hearing it from her mom and someone else not quite as old as her mom made a big difference-the girl at church said so.
Well, the end. =)

House Insurance

My neighbor's house was robbed today. I guess I ought to call my house insurance so they can raise the rates.
Did anyone ever think they would read something like that? It's meant to be shockingly funny.
It reminds me of the time I was at church and the preacher was talking about a guy who made fun of God and a coconut dropped on his head and he was then dead. I let out a laugh and immediately clapped my hand over my mouth; the Bible says not to laugh at an enemies misfortune- I repented and quit quickly. I was the only one in church who let a laugh escape.
OK; well maybe tomorrow a more lighthearted funny story will be on this blog. Be blessed and know Jesus! He sets us free.
Questions? realizethetruth@sbcglobal.net

A Sneaky Catch

News reports have talked about thieves running away wearing shoes that have lights on them that show wear they run, and one story told of a cup that covered a robbers' nose and mouth so he fainted from lack of oxygen and the emergency and police came right away! There is justice!
Well this link is to a story where some thieves smiled for the camera and the camera phoned home! Check it out at http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0643208620080606 . I found this story link at "Say What?" on the K-Love news page - http://klove.org/ .
Enjoy! =)

Screams and Shouts

So I was driving the elementary students and one day, and some kindergartners were excited. We were beginning to drive up and down a bridge that seemed a bit like a roller coaster. A girl in kindergarten exclaimed,"Wahoo! Everyone hold up your hands for the roller coaster."
One of the boys in the seat opposite her said,"Ms. L, can you drive with Lori (I changed her name.) screaming like that."
Lori sat up and looked at the boy and said a bit indignantly," I'm not screaming; I'm shouting." This was news to me, I thought she was exclaiming loud- shouting and screaming is much louder.
Well, I asked the boy if it bothered him. He said it did, and so I suggested he ask her to be a bit more quiet.
He did and she loudly whispered, "Is this better?"
He replied yes and thanks. Oh, what wonderful little diplomats!

The Water Balloon Brigade

So, it is the last day of school for the '08 year, and all 30+ high schoolers are being cool- too cool. As we travel down the road the bus in front of me has a young person let loose a toy super hero on a string- like in Napolean Dynamite- the movie. Everyone on the bus chuckles- so far a good way to end this school year.
We arrive at the first stop and a few too many people leave the bus. I hear someone comment that I-the bus driver- know what they are going to do. Honestly I do not know, but I'll be silent and let them wonder and stay alert.
I make the next two stops. It's mellow and cordial so far. Then, I drive along and hear a splat a bit too close to the driver side window. Water balloons pelt the bus. Eek! Thank God none have landed inside.
I tell the students it is a good thing that a balloon did not hit me and keep steadily going. One of the tall guys in the back of the bus held up his hands as if he were driving, got a calm semi happy peaceful look on his face and said," No you probably would have kept driving [like this], or we would have crashed into a house." Geez- what a lovely thought! At least he gave me credit for keeping my cool.
Well, we round the corner; they try again, but lo and behold, they missed. Wahoo! Precious cargo gets delivered, and I've made it through the water balloon zone! Hoorah!

6+6=11?

The other day I was talking to some children and asked one of them what they did for Mother's Day. One of the girls said she made chocolate covered strawberries with her mom.
Immediately one of the boys said, " Ooooh! I love chocolate covered strawberries! I'll give you six dollars for one."
With a bit of haughtiness the girl sat taller and said, "I already have that."
Then the boy said, "Yeah, but if I give you six more then you will have eleven."
I jumped in the conversation and said, "You mean twelve?"
He replied that yes, he meant twelve.
Then another child said, "I knew that when I was in kindergarten."
Well, I told the girl she might want to rethink the sale because she would make a lot more money than HEB- the local grocery store.
Well, then time passed. The end for now. (Smile)

Snurkle

Yes, that is right. A brand new word. I did not think of it myself. Some middle schoolers did, and I've decided to adopt it. It is one of those words that if I say it or think it, it makes me smile. If it becomes famous, then I'll work to get them mula for it...
But back to those words that make me smile: warm fuzzy, snortle, snort, free, you won (something good), precious, delightful, good friends, chortle, persnickety, lovely, thoughtful, you got an A or B, and there is more, but it is a bit late so I'll go for now. Smile. Life can get better. Join the party that brings true joy. Arrivederci.

(\ˌär-ē-vā-ˈder-chē\)

Animal Defender

Again, I was awaiting to drive away from the elementary school, I drive a school bus, and a fourth grade boy walks up to me and says one of the girls shoved cake in his face. This was evident as frosting was on half his face.
I followed him back to where the girl sat, and she immediately voiced with anger that the cakeboy tortured animals. I sat down beside her and the boy sat on the other side of the bus.
"Do you torture animals?" I asked.
"Well, yeah," he said as if everyone in the world did such a thing.
My heart felt shock as my mind wrapped around his answer. Then, with my brain feeling a bit on autopilot, I asked, "Do you hunt?"
He said yes that he and his dad did, and boy, relief soothed me! Well, I looked at the girl and told her I understood her being upset, but that some people hunted and that was a part of life, and she needed to communicate her anger with words and not cake.
Then I drove the darlings and safely delivered them. The End.

Living on Mars

This story is so funny! I feel for this guy! See about it at http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/weird/article1233465.ece .

Purpose and Funny Children

I love to laugh like everyone, so I figured I'd start blogging funny stories and link funny events.
First story:
I drive a school bus. At one of the elementary schools someone pulled the fire alarm. Many of the children went to where they were supposed to go when there is a fire, but the kindergartners on my route were brought to me.
They got excited when the fire truck came by the bus, and one of the kindergartner's said, " Uhoh, I think I started the fire."
When I asked him why he thought that, he said earlier he rubbed two sticks together and that was supposed to start a fire. I assured him if he did not see a spark then he probably did not start it. Children are such a riot! Smiles!